Curiosity
by jakers75
Summary: Sebastian had always thought he hid his motivation for accompanying Hawke, but after Isabela pays him a surprise visit at the Chantry and dispels that illusion, he is forced to confront both his true motivation for following their fearless leader and the fact that the lady pirate may be hiding secrets of her own. Rated T for brief language.


_**I always thought Isabela and Sebastian were an interesting pair. They seem to be polar opposites at first, but when you begin to peel back their layers, they share some common traits. They're two of my favorite companions and I wished that they had more interaction (and that Sebastian was a LI for m!Hawke), but that's what fanfic is for, haha. **_

_** Everything in the story, including the characters and setting, belongs to Bioware. Reviews and comments are always appreciated, and although I have some ideas I could maybe expand this story with, I'm going to mark it as tentatively completed. Thanks for reading, and enjoy!**_

**:: ::**

Sebastian looked up at the statue of Andraste and bowed his head before it one more time before he finished his daily prayers. Although Hawke seemed intent on steering him away from the Chantry, his habits remained firm, and every morning before everyone else was awake, he spent time praying. Standing, he gazed at the statue with a sigh. It seemed as if Andraste herself was scowling – he knew that sincere contemplation would lead to redemption, but he couldn't shake the feeling she distinctly disapproved regardless. Sebastian sighed - he wasn't sure he really wanted to know. Either way, it didn't matter. He was supposed to go out with the warrior later. Something to do with the Bone Pit if he remembered correctly.

He began to walk towards the side exit – if he was to accompany Hawke later, he had better get ready soon.

"Andraste's _tits_, I was beginning to think you'd never finish!" The all-too familiar voice rang out amongst the empty Chantry, and it was with a groan that Sebastian turned around.

"Isabela!" The pirate woman was sprawled in the pews, her legs resting on the seats in front of her. "I assume you've come to renounce your hedonistic ways and join us as a sister of –"

"_Maker_ no. I just wanted…to talk," she said. With a smile, Isabela rose from her seats and approached him. Sebastian eyed her warily as she did so – although she had earned his trust after the Qunari incident, it was all too obvious she had some sort of agenda. He also knew that she wouldn't leave until she got it done.

"Well, we're here," he remarked hesitantly, "But just remember that we're in the house of Andraste."

Isabela rolled her eyes. "I'm sure she's heard everything under the sun at this point. I mean, have you seen the way Kirkwall's been going to shit lately?"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, fine. What do you think about Hawke?"

Abruptly Sebastian felt himself stiffen. "What about him?"

"I was just wondering what you thought about our dear leader. Why do you bother with him?"

"I'm in his debt. He's helped me with the matter of my family, and for that, I can never repay him." Although it was technically true, the words rang hollow to Sebastian. He wouldn't tell anyone (_especially_ Isabela), but his feelings for Hawke ran far deeper than that.

"Yeah, but you could've just hired mercenaries and just left it at that." Not easily deterred, Isabela sat down again and reclined her feet on the pew in front of her. In any other circumstance, Sebastian would've stopped her, but he was too busy trying to think of an adequate response to notice.

"He's a man of honor. I know I can trust him," he finally replied.

"Is that all?"

"Excuse me?"

Isabela grinned. "The others might not have noticed, but they're not me. I've seen the looks you give him when you think no one's looking."

"I think you've been reading too many of your _books_ lately." Sebastian tried to sound stoic and dismissive, but he could feel the anxiety twisting at his stomach. If Isabela noticed, did Hawke as well?

"Believe me when I say this is far more interesting than any book," she remarked back as she raised an eyebrow.

"Even if I did, it wouldn't matter. I belong to Andraste now." As he saw the triumphant grin on Isabela's face, he immediately regretted speaking.

"That would mean you considered it at one point, though!"

"Like I said, it doesn't matter." Sebastian was bristling by now – at this point, he wanted to retreat before Isabela could trick him into saying any more. At the same time, though, he wondered what it would be like to finally talk to someone about his feelings. True, he had been very free with himself (to put it delicately) before his entry into the Chantry, but he had never felt for those women what he now felt towards Hawke.

"Well, let's start with an easier question. Have you ever charmed a creampuff?"

"What?" The sudden change in topic caught Sebastian off guard. That, and the fact he had no idea what Isabela was referring to.

"You know! Dallied with a dandy? Perused the black market? Hunted the dragon?"

"If you insist on interrogating me, you have to at least make some sense." Sebastian crossed his arms across his chest and frowned.

Isabela lifted her feet off the pew, leaned in his direction, and whispered in a conspiratorial tone, "Have you ever actually been with a man?"

Sebastian felt himself go red almost immediately. "Isabela!," he hissed, "We're in the house of the Maker!"

"You didn't answer the question though!" Her previously triumphant grin had taken on an evil edge. The urge to punch it off vaguely passed over Sebastian before he decided it would be decidedly inappropriate. Especially right in front of Andraste.

"You're right, I didn't!"

"Then I'm right! You have!" Isabela cackled, and Sebastian felt himself go even warmer, if that was possible.

"No! Not completely!" _Whoops._ He hadn't actually _meant _to say that. Even if was more or less true.

"Oh, _do_ tell! That sounds like a story."

Sebastian figured that his best option now was to remain silent, so instead of replying, he just glared.

"Fine! Another day, then. But seriously," she said, regaining her composure, "You should just tell Hawke. I don't think he's been interested in anyone else."

_Anyone else?_

What did she mean? He briefly thought it over before chalking it up to a slip of the tongue. "I'm devoted to the Maker now. I can't be that person - not for Hawke, not for anyone."

"That's why you're considering returning to Starkhaven, right?"

His stomach twisted up again. Isabela was nothing if not perceptive, apparently.

"That's not fair!" he protested, "My place is here in Kirkwall."

The pirate sat in contemplation for a moment. "If you insist. But you can't tell me the thought hasn't crossed your mind. I mean, who wouldn't choose a throne and someone to share it with over…this," she finished, gesturing broadly to the space of the Chantry.

For the second time in a very short period of time, Sebastian was at a loss for words. Lying to Isabela didn't do any good, but he couldn't tell her the truth. The dilemma was one that had crossed his mind many times. He could see the logic in Hawke's advice (that Sebastian should take what was rightfully his), but at the same time, no one understood his position. Although Elthina wouldn't tell him so bluntly, he had a debt to the Chantry – in addition, he truly was devoted to the Maker. Sebastian often liked to think of himself _as _his faith, something that was more virtuous and honorable than anything he had ever been.

At least until Hawke came along.

Even after the job was done, he couldn't stop thinking about the man he had hired. Isabela was right in that aspect, at least – it would've made more sense to just cut him loose, but when the opportunity came to join Hawke several years later, Sebastian had said yes.

At first he had tried to lie to himself, that he had joined the band of misfits to repay his debt. But as the months passed, he was forced to admit the truth to himself: Sebastian couldn't be completely sure, but he had, on some level, fallen in love with Hawke.

And now Isabela knew it.

"It's not for me," he finally replied, already knowing that his answer wasn't going to please Isabela.

"But why? I mean, if I had somewhere I could go and be safe, rich, and attended to, I'd leave in a heartbeat." Isabela furrowed her eyebrows now, and her tone had switched from being light and cheerful to interrogative and…Sebastian hesitated to use the word demanding, but it was the closest thing he could think of.

"The Chantry keeps me here. And...Hawke. Even if I wanted to leave, I couldn't." He felt himself redden as the words came out, but he felt relieved to finally admit it.

"But you could have it all. No one would be trying to kill you and you could finally live in peace and not have to worry about a thing for the rest of your life." Sebastian was almost taken aback by her words. He had very seldom seen his companion so legitimately passionate about something.

"Isabela," he interjected softly, "Why are you so insistent? Is something keeping _you_ here?"

Sebastian would've been lying had he told himself that he didn't enjoy being the one to silence Isabela for once. As soon as he observed the fleeting frown that came over her features, though, he felt bad. He had always assumed that Isabela stayed simply because she was a creature of fancy. He had never really stopped to consider that was just a persona she projected and _wanted_ everyone to believe.

Just like he did his feelings for Hawke. Dammit. He didn't know the full picture, but it was beginning to make sense now.

"You don't have to tell me anything, but while you're here, you might consider speaking to Andraste," he continued. "You might get more out of it than you think."

Isabela looked skeptical, but that had to be an improvement from immediate dismissal. Sebastian tilted his head and watched her.

"If you truly want to get to know Hawke, just talk to him," the pirate finally said. "He's been lonely ever since Leandra…well, you know. Even if you can't be with him the way you want, it might do the both of you some good regardless."

Sebastian pondered her words. It was a blatant redirection of topic, but when he really thought about it, he had been extremely lucky to get as far as he had with Isabela. That, and even if her advice was meant to steer the conversation away from her, she was being sincere – he could see it in her face.

"I…I'll think about it," he finally relented. Maybe it would help. After all, there was no danger to be had in a simple conversation, right?

"But on the off chance it _does_ lead to certain nighttime dalliances between the two of you, I simply must be the first to know." As swiftly as Isabela had displayed her vulnerability, she retracted it even more quickly.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Isabela…"

"What! It's just a simple request. Not too much to ask, if I do say so myself."

He merely raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh, _fine,_" the pirate sighed, "Be that way." She stood up and glanced in the general direction of the exit. "If you need me, I'll be drinking my troubles away at the Hanged Man. And if anyone asks about this conversation, I will deny it ever happened."

"But you're the one who – " Sebastian threw his hands up. "You know what, never mind." He paused. "Thanks for the advice."

"If you really want to hear more, you could come get drunk with me," she added hopefully.

"At this hour in the morning? Only you would. And besides, I'm going out soon. With Hawke," he added sheepishly at the end.

Another flicker of emotion flashed across Isabela's dark features, but this time he couldn't discern her exact feelings.

"In that case, carry on, and best of luck." And with that, she left. As she closed the front door, Sebastian sighed. Of all of Hawke's companions, he had always imagined the lady pirate to be the least likely to ever dispense advice. Well, maybe with the exception of Merrill. When there was time later, he would think it over.

Not that there wasn't already enough on his mind. The weight of both the Hawke and Starkhaven dilemmas weighed heavily on his mind, but maybe he wouldn't have to go through it alone.

As Sebastian walked through the halls to his room, the murmur of everyday life buzzed all around him. To them, the day was just beginning. He almost envied the fact that they were starting their routines on a blank site.

As he put on his pristine white armor, though, he thought of the adventures he was going to share with Hawke. Even if the warrior never knew he had an admirer in an unlikely place, it was enough for Sebastian that he could spend the time with Hawke.

And for now, that might just have to suffice.


End file.
